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23 April 2009

My Business Card Is No Longer Crap

Until several years ago I was a man of scholarship and aspired to be something of a literateur. Then I discovered the music business and ruined everything.

This afternoon, for example, I find myself working off the free wi-fi connection in Mocha Kiss, a swank cafe at the Fred Segal store in Los Angeles. There are expensive looking women walking around in expensive looking yoga outfits; there is a young man on the patio wearing what I’d best describe as a Hollywood ninja look (gold high top Nikes, a clingy American Apparel looking hoodie sweatshirt that looks less like a warm-up suit than a monk’s cowl, chunky beaded necklace and wristband that I imagine he tore from the wrist and neck of a gay viking who he triumphed over in hand-to-hand combat). I’m drinking a mediocre brew which bills itself as “coffee to the stars.” And friends regularly forward me videos like this:

Indeed, my hair’s now a bit slicker, my attitude a bit dickier, and my fashion sense a bit more developed. To see the outer limits of how bad things could get, check out a second video after the jump.

A better quality version of this can be viewed here. (YouTube didn’t allow embeds.)

Pray for my soul.


Posted by Alec Hanley Bemis

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